A walk down the memory lane

I set  forth to write my autobiography of the assignment that I had mentioned earlier. I thought I had a good start and wrote about two pages. This is when I noticed that a red light was blinking on my laptop. My laptop was going to shut down itself automatically as there was no charge in it.

The plug points were not working and there was nothing I could do. Cursing, I quickly saved my work and set out to find if anybody else was also facing the issue with the plug point. Within minutes I confirmed that everybody on our floor had this problem.

We quickly decided to go forth and tell our warden the issue. After all we did have a lot of work to complete. We set out only to suffer a set back. Our warden told us that since it was almost 10.00 in the night she was not going to call any electrician to the girls hostel. She said we had to wait till the next morn. We knew that there was absolutely no need for an electrician. All that was needed was that the switch that had tripped needed to be pushed back into its earlier position. But none of us had the courage to argue it out this time. Dejected we all trooped back to our rooms.

My attempt at the autobiography stopped there and then. I hadn't touched it after that. After many days of sitting on the work already done, I accepted the fact that I needed to complete. Many days of procrastination followed by this one day where I would complete my entire autobiography for my SAR.

I opened the file that I had worked earlier on and re-read what I had written. I stared at it for more than an hour trying to figure out how I should continue and whether the style in which I was writing was right. After a hour of absolutely no productivity, I decided to scrap my earlier work and start afresh.

Now I sit a few hours into the process. I find that the pace is agonizingly slow. Sometimes I spend time thinking of the past, whereas others I spend wondering how to pen it down. All in all the day till now has been a slow stroll along the memory lane.

"For good or for bad, for better or for worse..." as the words go, I started my journey and haven't yet completed half the way. I guess it will take time and I need to accept it. Probably these were memories meant to be re-looked at with a smile, a grin or even a twinkle in the eye.

So despite hammering away more than half of my morning and discovering that I still have a long way to go, I continue. After all, isn't it the story of my life? The story of my life - it would be the diary that I haven't kept, those diaries that I had disposed of - all in a concise form for me to look at whenever I would feel like.

So now off again to another session of hammering as I pen down the next phase of memories...

Kindled....

I came home bone tired and weary...It had been really long since I had come home. More than 2 months I believe. And I was just glad to be back. Glad for the sense of peace that being at home would give.

Though I reached home tired, I was excited because things had been happening at home and I had missed out on those. So coming back home after such a long time would mean that I could see the rooms that my parents and brother had painted, the new netbook that my dad had bought, the CPU that we had to buy once our computer died on us and the latest addition to the familys' technology gadgets, (my brothers new toy).

My brother had just got a Kindle. Don't ask me which version of the Kindle it is, because I really do not know!!! I was really happy that both my mother and my brother had a kindle. I was waiting to get a job so I could buy my own Kindle. I walked around telling people that he was getting a Kindle before he got it. And I was walking around telling people that he got it once he received it.

The only dark spot in the entire Kindle business was the fact that not neither my mother nor my brother would be as keen to go to the library as before.

"Sigh..."

But then a Kindle is a Kindle and I guess I could take Rohit's Kindle whenever I needed it. After all he did say I could.

So I reached home a bit late. And as tired as I was I didn't inquire about the Kindle for almost another hour. And when I did ask Rohit about his Kindle he gave me the box and asked me to open it.

I tried to open the box but the things seemed to be stuck.  I told Rohit that it was stuck and asked him to open it as I didn't want to tear the box. He opened it and I took it out and compared it my mother's Kindle.

I tried to switch it on but it was taking way too much time to load. I asked amma why the Kindle was slower than hers.

That is when I noticed my mother and Rohit giving side- glances to each other and smiling widely. And that is when I realised....The Kindle was a new one...It was taking time to load because it was being switched on for the first time...And I was sure that Rohit had already used it...And it could only mean one thing.....

The Kindle was mine!!!! I got a Kindle.....A kindle!!!!!!

AAaaaaaaaaaa!!!!

I was jumping up and down ....Kept grinning from ear to ear...I wanted to call up somebody...anybody and share the good...great...amazing news...!!!!!

"Oh My God!!! Oh My G0d!!!!! Ooooh My Gooood!!!!" A kindle...I got a Kindle"....Saying this I kept up my act of jumping around and grinning and wading in from one room to the other"

The Kindled Family!!!!

I too have been Kindled!!!! I too have a Kindle now...So now I am transferring the books to the Kindle...Looking at covers to stitch one or to get amma to stitch one for the Kindle. And finally...last but not the least I am waiting to finish my work so that I can settle down with my Kindle and a good book to read...

An autobiography

I set out to write my autobiography.

Na...Don't be too surprised!!! My writing hasn't gone to my head and neither have I gone crazy.

It's just that I or should I say 'we', the students of the HR class have been given an assignment to prepare a 'Self Assessment Report' for career planning. And one of the activities that would form a part of the SAR is our autobiography.

The writer in me is not too keen on this project or am I too keen. I know not from where to start and what to write. What should I include and what should I leave out? Like sir says, "it should contain those portions fit for public consumption". But even then the thought of putting down all the significant and the insignificant portions of one's life for an other to read seems to overwhelm me.

The document is supposed to a confidential one with access to only the faculty guide and anybody else that I would give access to. I am filled with nervous excitement as I contemplate the things I would put down and the people I would actually show it to.

So ideally an waiting for the time when I can sit down without any interruptions and write down whatever it is that comes to my mind. And I guess once I am done I can decide whether or not to share it with any other. 

Setting out for the data...

I set out for my data collection trying to act as though confidence was oozing through every pore of mine. Slightly nervous I set out from the hostel at the time that I had decided to leave.

I gathered up courage and decided that the day was going to be mine and I was going to conquer it. I met a batch mate who offered me a ride to the nearest bus stop from where I had to start my journey.

Standing there and waiting for the bus to come, it seemed like the longest time ever. But even then the time was pleasant as I received calls from the bestest of my buddies asking me not to go alone. These great friends of mine were trying to get somebody to accompany me as they didn't want me to go alone. Great friends aren't they?

Well...anyway...I reassured them that it was okay and that they did not have to cut class and come for me. That I would call them as soon as I wanted any help or was in any difficulty. Having persuaded them and having got down at the first bus stop, I proceeded to catch an auto to the first branch office I needed to go.

After what seemed to be ages in the auto, the auto fellow and I couldn't still see the branch that we were supposed to go to. Finally after going up and down twice, I called up the branch office to find out where exactly the location of this branch was.

And that is when thunder and lighting struck. It seemed that they address the regional office had given me was wrong and the location of the branch was only 5 minutes walk away from the place that I had alighted the auto. Feeling peeved by this time, I reached the branch and found myself waiting for the managers meeting to get over so that I could start distributing my questionnaires.

I met the manager and gave my questionnaires and was out of the office. I started walking back to the bus stop trying to get my bearings right. And then I realized that even though things didn't exactly go the way I had planned the only thing that I had lost was a bit of time. I charged right ahead.

And in that enthusiasm I went on to the nest branch in my list and soon moved on to third branch  in my list.  As I was going to the third branch Saji had called me up and he offered to pick me up and take me back to college.

I was exhausted with only the 3 branches covered and since it was a getting late and I welcomed the thought of returning. And soon I ran into Saji and covered the 3rd branch with him and we set back to college just in time for class.

And so with 3 down on my list and 5 more to go, I am waiting for Monday when I can finish the list of those branches that I couldn't visit on that day along with the revisiting of all the branches to collect the filled inn questionnaires.

My exploratory, though begun in an exasperating way ended well and I am looking forward to the rest of my data collection

Data Collection and me

The date for the submission of the data that should have been collected was fast approaching. I had my research in hand and my questionnaires ready but I still hadn't started on my data collection.

Not entirely my fault mind you. I hadn't been entirely free to devote the time, resources or energy needed for this with the INFLORE running full steam during these days along with the classes and the assignments. 

So though I was extremely enthusiastic about my research topic and had set almost everything in place, I still had not started on the next stage. As the atmosphere cleared up with the INFLORE coming to an end, I decided to devote my time to my dissertation work.

Things quickly fell into place and yesterday I decided I would set forward in my data collections process. I knew that I may not find myself able to submit everything on time but I had to put in my best and so I charted out the branches to which I had to email my questionnaires and the branches in Kochi that I could visit. 

Being a Saturday the branches would close by noon and my task was cut right out for me. I had to cover 5 branches in 3-4 hours. All set into place I looked at the places that I had to go only to realize that I didn't know how to get to any of them.

Woe unto me...Filled with despair and the tears readily springing to my eyes at the realization that all my enthusiasm was for nothing. I began to feel that my data collection was going to be hopeless. Like the silver lining to the dark cloud, one of my good friends explained to me each area in my list of 5 branches along with details on how to get there and back by bus/auto. 

And so filled with determination and nervous trepidation I set out to explore....

Dreaming...

A nice day at home....If there was a fireplace at home, then have the fireplace lit and keep home nice, warm and cosy. Snuggle up with a good book to read.

Now, that to me is the best way that one can spend their time. I am not a recluse who spends her time cooped up in a place and not interacting with people. But to me quality time with myself and my books is pretty special.

I do love going out with my friends and family and that fills me with happiness. 

But a romantic I am...and a romantic I will be. Dreaming about my books and living the lives of each of the characters of my book I am content. My heart rate increases as the murders take place, I try to seek out the murderers and the detective in me triumphs each time I find the murderer, I turn an adventurer and go places never gone before. But the best among all this is the Victorian era with the corsets and the plumes and the laudanum and the powders and the patches, not to mention the romance in each.

My heart lifts up each time I think of these. And I remain dreaming about my books, my stories, my library and my fireplace to snuggle with my books.

So I remain dreaming 

Doubts and crossroads...

I stared solemnly at the road I had taken. I gave a glance to the road that I had left behind.

The past few weeks had taken it's toll on me. I was despondent. Nothing seemed right. There was nothing that was wrong but despite of all this everything seemed wrong.

Colors seemed bright or too pale, the shapes never seemed to fit and the effort to just smile seemed too enormous.

Stray thoughts crept into my mind and refused to leave. What I wanted was some solitude and some time and space to think. But the efforts for all this seemed too huge and I found myself confronted by loneliness and no solace.

Days passed and nothing changed. Doubts crept into my mind.  

Decisions I had taken passed into my mind. I needed to figure things out. Either writing it down or reasoning with myself and if all failed, I had to speak out my mind to somebody.

A long time spent with along with others intermittent with time with myself. Thoughts that rose up to my mind, to discard or to push back. A long drive taken to clear of the cobwebs from my mind. The long drive brought back memories that I cherished. Memories that showed me my decisions and the truth behind them.

Now I look back at the crossroad that I had to face. I look at the journey I have taken and smile at the fond memories. I look ahead in anticipation for the journey yet to take. Now at this instant I know, I have taken the right path. Had I an other chance, I would never redo any of the decisions taken for all of them have shaped me to be the person I am now. 

The practical aspects of management...

Being in a management institute and studying management, people expect you to know management.

But do we really learn all that is there to management?

One learns quite a lot of management. Take it from me, after having done my graduation in management and even my post graduation from management, the amount of theoretical knowledge that one is expected to have in one's kitty is enormous. Added to this are the few snippets of practical knowledge that we gain through different exercises during the course and also in life. These snippets of practical knowledge take us forward quite a bit in life as we learn to apply our theory in practice.

If anybody had told me that the 'Principles of Management' are extremely important,  I would have scoffed at them earlier. Having learnt this subject twice during my two courses, I had given it up as something that I would never learn. This was a subject taught by two different people, one who taught it entirely with a practical view (with absolutely no theory) and the other with a mix of both. But at the end of both the subjects, my knowledge in this subject stood at a very low level of knowing just that POSDCORB was important at all level, in all organizations, in all project and no matter what you did.

But even then, everybody did do a bit of planning, organizing and directing for whatever it is that they had to carry out, or so I thought. I couldn't figure out what the big fuss was about with this subject. It seemed like common sense.

And then INFLORE happened.

INFLORE is a management fest that is conducted by the management students and some of us where in charge of the entire event. As a part of the organizers of this fest, we had lots of tasks which had fallen on us. From arranging the different games/event to panel discussion to quiz to stay, food and travel arrangement for all participants, to raising funds for the same, keeping tab on the money and so on and on. There were so many things to do and so little time. So we divided the responsibilities and tasks that fell to each person.

Ashwin, Lisa and I were in-charge of the Panel Discussion and the Inauguration of our entire fest. From inviting the panelists, to fixing them and the moderators, inviting the corporates as audience, the entire event looked too big to handle.

Initially, we took up responsibilities on ourselves and tried to do things on our own. Gradually, as things unfolded I/ We realized the importance of applying what we had learnt. The need to plan, organize tasks, allot responsibilities, delegate tasks came out.

It wasn't very east to do but we did it. The need to work with people and understand their strengths and give them tasks which they are capable of doing it very essential. The most difficult part that I faced in the entire thing was to give the responsibility to the other and place trust in their ability to do it. I realized the true essence of the word empowerment and the fact that faith in others abilities to carry out their work does actually play a role.

We successfully had our three day management fest where we pulled off all the events that we had planned for. And now I can tell you with conviction, the principles of management and all the other theory that we learn are extremely essential and a must learn for anybody interested in managing anything, even their life.

The past two months ending with the culmination of our fest has been a learning experience for me, helping me understand more about the practical aspects of management....

Noises in my room

I can hear noises in the room, in my bedroom. It is unnerving. I am sure it's not the sound of anybody I know. It sounds like a group of people talking from someplace quite far away.

Has it been a while since I lay down to sleep? Have any guests come home, this late at night? Even then, why would they come to my room and talk.

I strain my ears. Laughter floats to where I lay. I can hear glasses clinking, people laughing and chattering. Now I am sure that it's nobody I know and that whoever they are, they are in my room!!!

Do I dare open my eyes? Or should I just shut them tighter? 

The voices don't go away. I press my eyelids together praying that whatever it is, it goes away soon. Praying that somebody comes and puts the light on in this room. 

I am waiting...Time passes, the voices fade away...I thank god and open my eyes just a crack.

There is nobody in the room. It is pitch dark. I strain my ears to hear the last of those eerie sounds but I can't hear anymore.

Was it my imagination or were there people in the room? I guess I'll never know and I am not too sure I want to know either. 

I pray fervently and close my eyes, this time to sleep and to see pleasant dreams.

Waiting for the storm to pass...

The days go by in a blur...Nothing stays constant and everything keeps moving and shifting...So much work to do and so little time. One work after the other, one responsibility after the other, all tumbling into one another.

Of the three main issues, one just finished today. Now waiting for the 19th of this month for the biggest of the three storms to pass and once the dissertation work is done, I will be free for the time being,

And so amidst all this confusion and all the jobs, I wait for the storm to pass. I wait for the day that I can take a deep breath and say, at least for a few days, that life is quiet and peaceful and that there is no storm to rock my boat.

Sybil...

I came across the book "Sybil" by Flora Rheta Schreiber as I walked up and down the aisle searching for a book on 'Proactive Personality Behaviour' for my Dissertation. 

My eyes saw a book that looked like a novel, nestled among all the non-fiction books. And I pulled it out and the rest is history.

The cover page of the book claimed that it was "the true story of a woman possessed by sixteen separate personalities" and reading this I was hooked. I couldn't put back this book and I suddenly didn't want to. I decided that I already had two books to read for the dissertation and that it would be better if I finished those books and then issued the third one. 

I returned to the hostel and when I got time I started on my book. This was day before yesterday. Unfortunately I have been having classes the entire day and yesterday too we had some program in college, so I was held back till around 9:30 p.m. 

These three days, it has been like agony. I started reading the book and I just couldn't put it down. With snatches of time from here and there, I was able to finish the book today and it has left me in awe.

Sybil's entire life seemed to come to life in front of my eyes. I was fascinated, scared, repulsed and tormented by the kind of life she had had.  I couldn't imagine that anybody could have suffered so much in a life time. The fact that she dissociated into these multiple personalities helped her to live and one can't help but admire her for her courage. 

I always believed that there were different facets to one's personality. The way we behaved or acted in different circumstances depended on our mood and what we wanted to express. After all one wasn't the same in all situation, one acted and reacted in different ways at different times. But the concept of creating another personality to handle a particular aspect of oneself seemed so....for lack of a better word I would say 'extreme'.

To be not able to know that you had dissociated from yourself, that you had another you in another name doing things which you never remembered or even dreamt of doing seemed very scary. 

Despite losing time to her other selves whose actions she could never remember, she who initially rebuffed the idea that she had such an issue, actually got to know and talk to her other selves and reintegrated to a whole person. This is just a tribute to 'Sybil' for having faced it all and even then being able to come back to herself and coping with life.

It just goes to show doesn't it...Nothing is impossible...No mountain ever hard to move...If you want it..You can really do it....even if it seems a impossible case like Sybil's.

My mind....

The class is going on and I sit here listening to everyone talk. We have just been divided into groups and we need to move out into our assigned classroom for the group exercise.

Everybody is talking and a sense of foreboding passes over me. So many things to do and so little time...Will everything be alright? Should I be more assertive on the matter or should I just let the sleeping dogs lie?

I remembered my post on Facebook. Something that I posted a few days back. " Life is a journey, Nothing is ever predictable and everything depends on the choice that we make". And suddenly at this juncture I really did not know what choice to make. It is my life and my choice and I really did not want to make the wrong choice.  What do I do? What do I do first? Should I inform others? Will I be able to do my work on time and many more.

I know not many of them are big issues. They are all small things which I usually handle with care. But today I am unable to decide and unable to act. A sense of helplessness washes over me.

I close my eyes....I let my mind drift....A smile flashes by....A sight crosses my mind. Lizzie crosses the rods filled with slush wanting to reach Jane, hoping that her sister is doing good....Darcy finding himself falling in love with Lizzie.....His awkward proposal.....Her refusal.......Lizzie falling in love with Darcy...Things settling down....The love in the air...The happiness all around....

I open my eye with a smile. The recollection of a happy ending and my mood is trying to get back on track. I smile at my silly fancies of a moment ago.

I decide to be active in the group discussion and charge on ahead. The thoughts in my mind, set aside for now, till I can and want to deal with them.

Now our group discussion is over and I am back again in class. I am not overly cheerful but neither am I morose. I can deal with all the stupid small issues that affected me I know.

Something has come up. A word here and a word there, things are not fully in my control. I feel myself getting angry, frustrated and annoyed with many things. I know that  unnecessarily brooding over small things are going to make me feel worse. So I am determined not to let them affect me.

I think of my next character. Ayla.....her life...her childhood....the trials and tribulations she undergoes...I smile as I recollect the wonder in her eyes as she meets Jolander and "the others". I remember their journey from the valley to the Mamutoi and then finally back home to the Zelandonni...I remember and I smile.

I don't stop I go on...the Victorian era and the power and patches....I think of the pretty ladies in their gowns and the handsome Dukes and the menfolk busy with their cravats. I think of my books waiting for me at the hostel. Those that lend me company and those that can make me feel good.

Thinking of all my favorite characters and my books...Spending some time with all of them has made my day. I know my issues are just around the corner. But now I have given them a slot and there they will wait, unless I decide I want to tackle them.

And tackle them I will because now I am at peace with myself...

The small things...

The day started off really well and I was very happy until....... I reached the 'until' part and the happiness that I had in me from the morning and the happiness that had been carried over from the day before just evaporated, "Poof" right in front of my eyes.

The day which began well  began to get bad. Steeped in irritation, I went out and would you be surprised if I told you that my day went from bad to worse? As I returned my irritation levels had reached its zenith and I would lie if I said that I had not lost my temper.

This is not a usual phenomenon for me but in a way it is too. I, like everybody else, tend to get irritated at different things. So the irritation part was nothing new. But the fact that my irritation had grown over the day and had reached a point where I could no longer rationalize was something different. I do not say I never reach this stage but I rarely do.

And to my surprise, the next day when I woke up, I wasn't my usual cheerful self. I tried suppressing my irritation and anger at the world in general. But towards the end of the day I found that I was in worse shape than the previous day. I started getting annoyed at small things and snapping at small things. I was exasperated for things that were beyond my control. And the fact that they were beyond my control was adding to my agitation and anger.

I decided to pen down my thoughts and felt that I may feel better after all of the writing that I was going to do. Numerous names, one more exotic than the other popped into my head as I decided what I was going to write about. From names like "Rantings of a 'not' teenage and 'not drama queen' to ones like 'frustration' and 'how your day can go from bad to worse' popped into my head. From these names itself you can guess the state that I had worked myself up to.

All these happened yesterday and at the end of the day, you can be assured that I was in a state. I went back and cribbed about all my irritations to two people who are really close to me, my mom and to my good friend.

I spoke to them about all these problems expecting them to emphasize with me and tell me that things were going to be fine. Imagine to my surprise when nothing happened the way I expected it to happen.

Both of them spoke about how I was getting upset at things that were beyond my control and those over which I actually needn't get too worked up. After listening to all that they said, I was even more upset and dejected.

But their words forced me to think. And I am really glad that they both said what they did. I needed the reality check and needed to realize what I was doing to myself. I had always talked about being positive and cheerful  no matter what. But I let a small irritation in my mind stay there and fester and fester. The irritation in me caused me to be irritated at other and smaller things, things over which I would normally not react.

Now as I realize what I did, I know that in the future I will be more careful and take things in my stride. Irritations will come but they have to go. I cannot let my life be rules by this. So from now on, I will try to be positive as I usually say I and we all should be.

This was the decision that I took yesterday night and the remarkable thing is that when I woke today morning, I was in a much happier mood. And though there have been instances where I would have normally got irritated and upset, I no longer have those stuck in mind and impacting everything I do and the way I react.

Right now, a much happier person, singing off.....for the next session....

Gurls tym!!!!

Though I had promised the continuation of the saga..."The tribute-Part 2".....I have decided to take a small intermission or may be a few. To start off.....I wanted to talk about "GURLS TYM"

As the class got over...the girls were streaming out of the class....That is when the phone beeped....The phone was taken out and the message read out, "Hey girls we will go out for lunch, so don't munch from the mess. Ask all..."

We looked at each other and raised our eyebrows.

 "What say?..."

"Are we in?"

"Call and ask"

"So in...okay...Just message that we are in..."

We walked slowly to the hostel. We didn't have to rush. It was okay if the lunch mess closed as we would go out and eat. We reached our floor and got ready to leave.

Setting out for the fun times ahead

In a few minutes (that got extended to 15 as everybody got dressed) we left the place and decided to go to Pizza Hut and then drop in at the nearest theater for a movie. We were then at the gate, waiting and waiting...for our conveyance... To make the long story short, we rushed to Pizza Hut, lounged around and stuffed ourselves. To complete the day, we went to coco tree and had amazing Chocolate Fudge which was really yum.

Hmmm....Yumm......Chocolate Fudge.....

Hyper at coco tree

The moments at both the places were interspersed with loads of comments and ogling and fits of giggling. The end of those two nice foodie joints was that we were broke.

As we got out of Coco tree, we decided to walk. And to walk we went to Marine Drive.

At Marine Drive, we spent some time walking as we intended to and the rest of the time taking photos.

At Marine Drive

Posing with the sunset

Beautiful moments

"The end of the day..." we realized as we glanced at our watches.

With groans and grumbles we decided to head back. The occasional "oooff, I don't want to go back" and the "Let's do this tomorrow too" did follow.

And so we got into the auto and to the horror of the auto fellow, we entertained him with songs....badly sung till  we reached back...

They were a few amazing few hours that we spent with each other.  And I have come to the conclusion
Girl times are way too much fun.
We need loads of chocolate to be happy and extra happy. "Just add extra chocolate to it..."
Loud songs in the auto can be so much fun
Being hyper is nice when you have company :)
And the final chorus girls, "I don't give a damn..."

Sorry people if this post has been a tad too cryptic but the day was too much fun. And I couldn't possibly explain the fun elements here and in this context. So if you are curious just let me know, let me see what I can do.

Cheerio and so we meet in the next episode...

The Tribute

I had been pondering in my mind for the past few days on what I wanted to write about. I thought hard but couldn't come up with anything concrete. I finally zeroed in on one "aspect"...on one "thing" that I wanted to write about... I wanted to write a 'Tribute' to some of the best friends that I have had and that I still have.

No...I am not going to be telling any names and giving qualities of 'these' friends of mine. The tribute that I wish to give them is the acknowledgement on the impact that they have had on my lives.

Having parents who have a transferable job ensured that we kept on our toes and settled down in different places.  Living in the office quarters in Chennai and Lucknow helped me gain many friends, not only in the quarters but in the different schools too that I had to study in.

When I recall fond moments of friendship during my school days, many pictures flash by...sports day in school and all of us huddled in our sports houses, rushing off to buy ice-cream during the sports day, planning trips to numerous friends houses, sneaking around in the quarters while playing and hoping that none of our parents called us back home or interrupted our games. These school friends and quarters mates of mine, believe it or not people, where some of my first experiences in mingling with people outside my comfort zone.

Constant bickering and gossips with each of these friends, actually enhanced my communication skills to an extent. Would you believe that we had to keep shifting our language by speaking in Malayalam a moment and then shifting to Hindi or English the next when somebody joined the group or left it.

Some of my fondest memories lay in my visits to the library. We were three and we would plan and go to the library together. Avid readers, we would plan and take the books such that we could exchange them and read. At the end of it, the discussions we had on whether Nancy Drew did the right thing or whether Harry could have escaped and so on, still bring a smile to my face.

In fact, my life so revolved around my friends that each year when the transfer list would come, I would be in tears as a few of my friends would have been transferred to somewhere new. So when the time came for us to be transferred, as you can likely guess, I was in shock and really unsure whether I wanted to go. But that's for another time and place.....

Some of my close buds at Chennai

So now we come to my next set of friends...my friends at Lucknow...both quarters and school. It probably had to do with my age as I was joined the 11th standard when I reached Lucknow but my experiences here were certainly different. 

Initially difficult to form friends and understand whom to trust, I ended up befriending a few. Some of these chums are still close to my heart and though we don't keep in touch everyday or every week, we can still catch up on things where we left off without a hitch.

My friends in Lucknow, hhhm......we did have quite fun times. Games like before didn't happen much, time spent with friends were either spent cycling together or walking around or even just sitting down and chatting and 'observing others'.

Going crazy at Holi :)

After Farewell, at one of our favorite hangs....

I do not know how to put into words the impact on my life in Lucknow. All I can say is that those moments where really precious. To mention a few, all the big fights (though they feel really small and stupid now!!!), the peace prayers :D, the moments spent in the nooks and crannies of the quarters, the ultimate  passing of comments on everything we saw....hhmm...wonderful....

So I completed my studies sin Lucknow and then landed in Kerala, Vallikav to be precise. I joined Amrita in Vallicav for my graduation.

You can imaging my horror and my disbelief at the turn of events. Kerala was home for me, but home to come to in the summer holidays and I thought it was going to be really difficult here. I joined Amrita with a 'serious' outlook. I had decided (God alone knows for what!) that I was to be serious and that there was to be no fooling around (like in Lucknow).

So my first few weeks went uneventfully and gradually I made a few friends. In Amrita, though I felt that I had friends, I never thought that I had very close buddies.  It was only towards the end of my graduation and after my graduation, that I discovered my good buddies.

Times at Amrita are hard to describe. There were good moments and bad moments. There were instances where the person whom you believed was your friend was no longer your friends and those people whom you felt had nothing in common with you became very good friends. It can be aptly described to be like that of a roller-coaster ride. But when I got off at the end of three years, I did have a wonderful treasure of friends, not just among my classmates and other steams and disciplines but even a teacher or too.

Some of the wonderful moments captured....

Our farewell....

My days at Amrita shaped me to a large extent to what I am today...

Last I come to my classmates and my friends at Rajagiri...What do I say about them....Quite a lot I guess...So I am signing off for now....Sign in later for the next episode of 'The Tribute' to know about this bunch of buds.....

Nick of time

"I was off in a few hours..."I thought to myself excitedly.

I was leaving to my home the next evening and I could hardly wait for it to arrive. Unfortunately for me the class that I had was on Marketing Research and I really didn't want to bunk that and go home. And to make matters worse, even if I had gathered up the courage and made the decision to bunk I could not have done it. All because the class got rescheduled with the exam.

And even if the heavens and earth had moved to make my 'bunking' possible , I could not have done it as this exam was in place of the mid-trimester exams as well as all the assignments that sir was intending to give us. So I steeled myself and decided to give my best for the exam.

The excitement in me grew as the hours drew closer. Though I had an exam I found myself packing things to take home and mentally also packing the bag that I would take with me. I was off to Port Blair the day after I reached home and I was so excited that I was flitting around.

That morning as the exam time drew near i decided to do a bit of reading for the exam. You see, I had to finish the exam fast. The exam was to start at 1.50 - 2.00 and should have finished by 4.00. My train was only at 5.20 but the Kochi just like any other place is known for its heavy traffic at this time.

When I had gone to class the previous day I asked a classmate of mine, Keerth, whether he could drop me at the station. He replied to me saying that he couldn't make it but he would be of service to me by offering his car if I could find another to take me in his stead.

I pondered on the matter of my reaching the station gravely. I decided to call another classmate of mine, Sheperd and asked him if he could drop me and also told him that Keerth's vehicle was available. To my good luck, Sheperd agreed to drop me.

I reached the computer lab in time for the exam. I was nervous and excited at the same time. My thoughts were filled with my trip to Port Blair and I could neigh think of anything else. But I decided that I had to finish the paper and leave by exact four itself to make it to the station.

My classmates and I waited outside the lab for them to let us in. I was getting impatient by this time.

It was 2.00 and the exam hadn't started yet. Luckily sir opened the door and beckoned us in.

We rushed in to be greeted by the news that the exam was a three-hour one. I sat transfixed and rapidly calculated the time the exam got over.....5.00.....

"Oh God!!!! Now what? I will miss the train", I thought to myself.

I took another minute to compose myself and decided that I would leave by 4.30 which would let me reach the station just in time with only a very small margin. It was a risk but I couldn't help it. I had to reach home today because our flight was the next afternoon.

I decided to do as much as I could in the time that I had allotted to myself. As  time flew by, the thoughts of the trip flew right out of my head and all I could think of was finishing the paper in time. Something made me glance my watch and I realized that it was already 4.30 and though I hadn't finished the paper I had to get out and make a move.

"It's ok...Once in a while if you can't complete the paper it is ok....It is okay to give priority to something other than studies and exam once in a while..." I consoled myself with these thoughts.

I submitted the document to sir and rushed out with my bags when I realized that it had begun to rain.

Sheperd called me. "Where are you and have you taken the key from Keerth?", he asked.

Belatedly I realized that there had been a miscommunication between me and Sheperd. I assumed that he would take the key from Keerth whereas he assumed that I would.

I began to panic and didn't know where to turn. I decided to go by auto. By then Sheperd reached and told me he would take the key from Keerth. I was adamant that he shouldn't as Keerth was writing the exam. Sheperd finally gave in and told me that he would drop me on my bike.

As I waited for Sheperd, Saji arrived on the scene. He told Sheperd to collect the car keys from Keerth as there was a probability for it to rain.

Now torn between the two decisions, I stood there confused. As Sheperd hurriedly made his way to get the car keys, I stood there talking to Saji. By now the time was 4.45 and I started thinking of the alternative modes of travel. I just had to get home.

Luckily for me, Saji asked me about my train. When I told him that the train was at 5.20 even he agreed that I should go by the bike as I would never make it in the traffic.

Sheperd too arrived on the scene and he got his bike. Saji gallantly removed his jacket and gave it to me so that I wouldn't get wet in the rain. I got on the bike and finally we left.

I kept glancing at my watch as we sped past the other vehicles. Already at the rush hour and with a slight drizzle my hopes of reaching the station gradually came down.

"Oh god, let the train be late....Oh god, please help me reach there in one piece.....God, please let there be no traffic so that the bike can go fast.....Oh god, let the bike not go too fast even if i miss the train....God, please help me get the train..."

These prayers kept going around in my head until I even lost track of what I was saying and why I was saying it.

It was 5.15 and I still hadn't reached.

"There I am going to miss the train" I thought to myself.

"Will we reach? Where have we reached? How much more time to reach?", I asked Sheperd...

It was 5.25 and the bike pulled up in the railway station. Sheperd told me to hurry and I half-ran and half-sprinted to the fourth platform. I descended the stairs and stood there panting for another minute. There was a crowd in the platform but had the train left?

I turned and asked a lady, "Janshatabdi ethiyo?..." She replied in negative and before I could respond I saw the train pulling into the station and again started the mad rush to find my coach and seat. I barely squeezed myself through the crowds and got on the train, located my seat and sat down.

I relaxed just for a moment and called up Sheperd, "Ethi.....Kitti....." Between short gasps I told him that I had reached and found the train and my seat and sat down. By then my mother started calling to confirm whether I could get the train or not. The next few moments I spent calling up Saji and my dad and few others who helped me and let them know that I had made it.

The train that I thought that I would miss...The train that I actually was late for....The train that I left my exam halfway for....The train for which I made my friends run around like crazy.....I had made it....Just in the nick of time...

We too ran a business....

A few weeks back we were greeted with the news by one of our teachers, while in the HR class,  that we were to have a simulation classes. Waves of despair washed through us as we realized that we had to stay back the weekend for the so called "really good" class.We had this session on the Friday, Saturday and the Sunday.

We rushed off to break the news to the poor souls who has to stay the previous weekend for their other guest lecturers.  We tried to obtain some satisfaction from the fact that we weren't staying the second consecutive weekend in college and that we were not going to be attending a lecture.

As the D-day drew near,  we got more information on the program from the faculty. The faculty had already attended these sessions and they felt that the value add was really high and that we had to attend these sessions. Sentences that we heard here and there....."will be divided into groups."....."apply knowledge in all functional areas"..."need wi-fi and laptops the entire time"....."should have a strong background in finance"......"class from morning till night"....."software enabled..." swam thorough our heads.

I couldn't figure out whether to b excited or tensed. And so the D-day arrived and I trudged to class with my friends to make it in time for the 9.00 session. We found a list containing our group details when we reached the Group Learning Center (GLC). We were all divided into groups of five. So that was 12 groups of five each, where 6 groups were from Mars and six groups were from Earth. It was to be the same industries in two different places.

We had many small games and activities in between the main "Game". The main activity was "Running a Business". All of us were operating in the Boiler Industry and I am not going into the nitty-gritties explaining the rules and regulations and our small decisions.

My team consisted of four others - Shruthy, Sanand, George and Georgy. This was the first time I was in a group with them. We named our venture "EXCEL Ltd." In a nutshell, our activities consisted of making the vision, mission, strategy for our company.

We were working for, we were told, 10 quarters. So at the beginning of each quarter we had to set out each persons "roles", the forecasted demand for each segment, out production, the priorities for distribution, the market reports we wanted, the number of sales and after sales people in each segment, the advertisements in each sector, the R&D expenditure and even the long-term and sort-term loans. It seems quite a handful doesn't it?

Those three days....What can I say....Those were 3 amazing days. We worked together as a team, made many blunders, made loads of progress and got excited when we made profits. The intensity with which we discussed the numbers and took decisions, the adrenalin rush when we decided to go ahead with our decisions, the tensions that we had once we submitted out decisions and awaited the "quarter results"...Though I describe the moments, the intensity of all these emotions really cannot be explained.

The game was completed in 8 quarters and at the end of three days we wanted it to go on. We wanted to have more quarters in order to make decisions. We had long-term strategies that we wanted to implement. We wanted to improve our business. We wanted to be the market leaders in terms of customers, in terms of profits, in terms of margin and so on....We just didn't want to stop.

Those three days were really amazing and did add much value for all of us. The learning from the simulation game of  "EnParadigm Solution" was just too great. Thank you Veetrag and Ferzand for that amazing experience....Hats off to you guys(https://www.facebook.com/LearningCurveSimulation?sk=wall&filter=2)!!! Thank you Rajagiri for allowing it to happen, it was really amazing.

And last but not the least...my group mates.....Sanand, Shruthy, George and Georgy.....Amazing time guys...It was one of the best groups I have worked with. Working with you guys was a pleasure. I just wish we could have run our business a bit longer :) And yeah thanks Georgy and Sanand for not "firing" me when I made a colossal blunder :P. We are a great team guys and I hope I get the chance to work with you guys again.

We, The Living

I just got off reading Ayn Rand's 'We, The Living'. And I don't know what to say....

The feeling one gets as they finish her book....It's difficult to explain but I will try.... The sense of despair that washes over you, the despondency that settles in you as you realize that everything she has written is true. 

The book contain the protagonist, Kira returning to her home town in Russia post the revolution. This book is said to be Ayn Rand's first book against Communism. There are three main characters in the book to look out for - Kira, Leo and Andrei. 

While Andrei is communist and talks about living for the society and serving the society selflessly, Leo is anti-communist and wants to live for himself and does not believe in selfless service. Kira is also anti-communist and live to fulfill her dreams. Doesn't seem complicated does it? 

As the story moves on, one reads the situation prevalent there and Kira's and Leo's struggle against that difficult system. One is blacklisted if one does not go out of the way to serve society and if one was an aristocrat. It shows the society losing it's luster. It depicts Kira losing her fight as she discovers that she cannot live for herself.

Most of Ayn Rand's books make you think, think deeply. 

This book really touched me because like Kira says in the book, it is inconceivable that one live only for the society. Just imagine, if the society were to impose on us such a ruling that anything and everything that we are to do is to be linked with helping the society. It would be such that any frivolity, any entertainment will be frowned upon. One will not be allowed to read, listen to music , dance or do anything that is considered a waste to the society. All that one does is the work decided by the state and whether you are good at what you do is not considered. The only thing that is considered is the contribution to you society. And scorn be on you if you expect high remuneration for the service that you do.

This is the horrifying way in which the post revolution state has been depicted. I just cannot imagine living in a world like that. 

Ayn Rand has written so beautifully that there are those instances where I was so moved, so frustrated by the system that Kira in me rose up to the surface. I wanted to infuse strength to Kira, wanted her to try and get out of the system and live her life and her dream.

Kira's words give much room for thought. Life is desolate and has no meaning if we aren't living for ourselves and pursuing the goals we want to pursue. Whether it be things for society, or for family or just for ourselves, unless we are self motivated to do them it will be neigh impossible to do them. Won't life lose it's meaning if we cannot see where we are going and if we cannot serve in the way we know best??? 

These are questions I ask myself. Life has a lot to offer us. I believe that as long as we know where we want to go and accept life with open arms and work constantly for it, we will and we can reach those goals. 

Crochet....

 I have grown up watching my mother stitch. Crochet, knitting, embroidery......you name it and it seemed that she could do all these different types of stitching...this was my understanding when I was in the 8th standard or so...

I still remember going to another aunty to learn crochet though my mother stitched quite a lot of crochet. You see, I didn't want to learn from my mother...All my friends were going to another person to learn and I too wanted to learn. So determined I was to go, that I actually did. We didn't learn just crochet but we learnt other things too.. Unfortunately I don't remember what it is that I was to have learnt during the session. But what I do remember is that when I was done with the course I still couldn't stitch.

With my nose high up in the air, I declared to my mom that I wasn't going to 'waste' my time stitching the doilies that she kept stitching. I decided to stick to the Anchor stitch kits and cross stitch patterns.  Embroidery too wasn't my forte so I decided not to risk doing too much of that.

But in course of time, as I saw the beautiful things that my mom made, I changed my mind and decided to learn crochet. My first project was a 'carrot bookmark' which was as long as the palm of my hand. It definitely did not look like a carrot. I wish I had a picture to show that utter disaster. It was such a flop that I was scared to try again. And as I said earlier I was determined not to 'waste' my time on doilies and make only useful things as bookmarks and bags and the such.

I began by making scrunchies. That was definitely a crazy phase where I think I influenced my mom too, to abandon her projects for a while to make a few scrunchies. These small projects taught me my basics in crochet and I ended up having a dozen or two scrunchies in all the colors imaginable. My only frustration at these moments were when I couldn't stitch as fast as my mom. You see , I had started ,learning but I wanted to be as fast, as neat and as accomplished as her. No small feat, huh?

I haven't yet reached that stage, but I am still learning and have a long way to go as she is far ahead, doing new exciting and beautiful things. Some so complicated that I still haven't got the courage to start them.

Well...Let me now get back to where I was...

Yeah once I had done with the scrunchies, I didn't do anything much for some time. I was in Amrita and I couldn't spend much time stitching. But once in a while I did escape home and towards the end of my graduation in Amrita and the year after that I had four major projects completed. I had made two bags and two doilies.

                                                            My first doily

                     My second bag - I had to finish this to take to college and show off

"Doilies?",the question may pop into your mind. Yes, 'Doilies', I changed my mind they are after all pretty things and do have their decorative uses. :)

I don't remember the other small things that I have made over the past 2-3 years. There have been small projects like pencil boxes, cell phone pouches and book marks. Some of these I still have and some have been given to friends.

Pretty long post...Don't you think? And I still haven't got to where I wanted to go. I still haven't penned down what I really wanted to. So here goes...hoping that I am not boring the people out there...

I had gone to Bangalore for my summer project and although I never carried any thread and needle, I decided to raid the stash that mom had taken to Bangalore for my own purpose. I thought to myself that I would make something nice and do something useful during those two months.

I don't think I did much stitching,other than a few small things - doilies, cell phone cover and a book mark. But my time in Bangalore ended up with Santhy, a good friend of mine, wanting to learn crochet. And I was more than happy to teach her the little I knew.

                                           Santhy's First Project for her niece

                                                     Her second project

And I never imagined that any body else would be interested to learn. But when I got back to Rajagiri I found out that Santhy's sister had learnt from Santhy and has started crocheting. She also made a cap as her first project.

So do you think it ended there? By now am sure that you would have guessed how the story would carry on from here. So if you are exasperated with my really long post then you can close this and go, else please do go on...:)

Well after I returned to college (Rajagiri), I had so many projects in my mind. Things that I wanted to do that I brought threads, needles and patterns to the hostel. Seeing my projects and seeing Santhy's project, more people wanted to learn and make things.

Uma first jumped in as she was able to obtain the thread and needle. She started making a lace edging for a kerchief

She still has two more rows to go...But just look at that, isn't it amazing? And now she has also started on a cap...

The cap

                                                Uma working hard on her cap


Just a few days and she is all set. Uma, if you are reading this, 'Don't blush, you are doing an amazing job...'

And then Rimjim, Gincy joined the bandwagon. They had been pestering me for a really long time to teach them but we got the wool and the needles only recently.

          Gincy being thrilled with the stitches she is learning and the amount stitched

  Rimjhim and Santhy on Rimjhim's stitching - She is working at perfecting her stitches

Both Gincy and Rimjhim are now in the process of making a doily. And quite successfully too, if I may add. They are both on the 3rd row and it is not a very simple one (my bad choice) but they are working wonders. I don't have photos to show of their progress but they sure are making progress.

So why am I saying all this. I set out to write about all this because teaching my friends the very little I know, had been a really wonderful experience for me. To see the thrill on their faces when they learn a new stitch, complete a row...The feeling is just amazing...

So this is just a note (and a really long one at that) to tell my friends that these days when they have been stitching have been really wonderful for me. Wonderful to see them create, wonderful to see their joy and also a morale booster for me.

And to end it all....No matter how the world changes, there will be people who are fascinated by crochet and who want to learn and create stuff.....And so the legacy continues....

Life.....

As a part of the learning in life, we go through many institutions, many incidents (that we term learning experiences) and even many people (with their takes and insights on life). How much have we learnt from these and how much has this contributed in helping us cope with life?

As life goes on, the realization that all the fancy institutions and experiences may not help us to cope with certain incidents strikes me hard. At these moments, it is only the faith in god and the support of those who are dear to you that takes you through these moments...moments that seem insufferable.

So why is it that none of these fancy institutions do anything to teach us to cope? If you ask this, like I asked aloud and spend some time on the question, you will have the same realization that I did. All our schools and colleges play a major role and they do teach us to cope in many ways.  From making new friends, to defining priorities among friends, or to just deciding whether or not to take part in something,,everything makes us cope. there are instances when you decide to do something and it lands you into trouble at school or college and you have to cope with the situation of either getting punished or receiving a rebuke from parents or friends or even teachers.

As I look back, I find that most situations that I have found myself in and thought that I would never survive, I have survived. And as I look back, may be there are specific instances and incidents that can be counted...those that have helped me come out whole though not unscathed. But the things that stands out the most are the faith in god and support of dear ones, like I mentioned earlier.

 When these situations do happen one knows not what to do and where to turn. Will things be alright or will they get worse. These questions get compounded whether or not the situation was of your own making. And these questions and doubts go round and round in your head, making in impossible to think of anything else or do anything else. At moments like these, all you wish for ...is it to stop...atleast in your head. Sometimes you know that things are going to be alright but those games in you head just won't stop.

Very tempting isn't it, to put your hands to your ear and to scream at life and tell it that you won't play unless life makes the game fair. But life in never fair in the short run. Sometimes you have good luck and sometimes you don't. For somethings you have good luck and for some things you don't.

C'est La Vie!!! Have to take it as comes....

So at moments like this....remind yourselves as I remind myself...to take a deep breath....pray to God and count on your dear ones to be their for you....

Change....

I read somewhere,,,'Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back everything is different...'


When I read this statement, it seemed to be profound. It is just a simple statement...something we really don't ponder much on. But those moments that we realise that things have changed, these words make so much sense.

Why is it that we never discern the change as and when it happens.....But when we realize the change, the magnitude of that change leaves us speechless.

It reminds of the the book 'Who moved my cheese?' by Spencer Johnson.

When I read the book, I identified with both Hem and Haw with respect to the fears they had in accepting the change. But I also felt that regardless of what the change was, if it was really stark and staring me right at the face I would have acted like Scurry and the other mouse whose name I don't really remember.

But now I realise that things change and it is only when everything associated with it changes...that I even realize that things have changed. Confusing isn't it?

I guess I am not putting it down too clearly.

No matter how I look back to discern the moment the change began...I can't pinpoint the moment. As I look back now probably there were signs that things were changing but I guess those were small signs...signs that we don't usually look out for. And these small changes grow bigger and bigger until we can't help but accept that change has occurred.

So what happens next?

I hope at least the next time I realise when these changes happen...and I learn to accept these changes...

And so it comes to an end

Two months of hard work, a few days of tension and the pressure surmounted and reached its peak today. The last person exited the viva panel, and even though the results weren't yet out, the tension dissipated.

Everybody standing around in circles, discussing those moments in their respective vivas and then gradually moving on to other interesting topics.

Two months of work and your fate decided in 20 minutes????

It didn't seem fair. After all we slogged during this time and put in our best efforts and our reports were given only to our mentors for cross checking. We argued within ourselves, "Aren't they supposed to read our reports if they wanted to question us on the project?".

It seems not. All they wanted was us to do a presentation. It was a easy session for a few and a grueling session for a few others.

But what can we do...when they dismiss the project without a second glance, with just a nod, with arguments on its mistakes and so on....and all without our report being read.

A few relieved faces and a few tense ones...It was difficult to congratulate friends on their doing the viva well and in the same breath consoling those who didn't.

As those discussions abated, people were just relieved - whether or not the viva went well, it was done and over with and nothing further could be done for now.

Now as we await the results, all most of us can think of are the classes and the fun that we are to have this trimester!!!

And so we begin to plan......

A sense of peace...

Today I went to Amrita - not the one at Amritapuri but to the one at Kochi. A different place and a different ambiance....

Why did I go? I just went....I just wanted to go...I wanted 'that' bracelet which I used to wear when I was in Amrita. It used to give me a lot of peace and I believed in its power.

Neethu, Rakhi and I went there and we saw the place from top to bottom. I do not know what I expected to see there but I wanted glimpses into my life at Amritapuri....I came away with my bracelet and the need to go to Amritapuri, to my college and my Ashram.

After I got the bracelets (for a few others too) and returned to the hostel, I decided that I would wear mine only after doing Reiki on it and protecting it. 

I sat down and started channelizing the energy....The emotions, the calmness and that quiet pulse of energy....a sense of peace washed over me...and now I sit calm and composed,writing this down and feeling the most relaxed that  I have felt in days.

I do not know whether it was the Amrita feeling or the bracelet or the Reiki that did it... All I know is that I am at peace...

Blogging!!!

I have been wanting to write a great many things for the past many days. But the day the inspiration strikes me, I get loaded with mountains of work. And the days during which I have time to actually sit down and pen my thoughts, I get a bloc.

Can I call it a writer's bloc???

Well....I am not much of a writer but bloc or no bloc I have decided to pen down my thoughts in those small moments that I get.

I need to write much more. It will improve my writing....Whether it improves my writing or not, to put down those words and sentences gives me a much needed relief.

So hopefully I stick to what I say and write down here those sad, happy and irritating moments!!!

Ciao for now readers!!!! 

"Bus?" "Excuse me!! It's too hot...Let's go by auto!!!"

As most of my friends know and love to comment to each other I usually take autos to where ever I need to go whenever possible. Of course, there are those instances when everybody else decides to go by bus (they outvote me) and I end up following the crowd. There are also those really rare instances when we are travelling long distance and have no train tickets. So bus is the only option.

So before you jump into any conclusion that I am a snob that travels only by auto, let me point out to you that I have no issues, absolutely none for travelling by bus. As long as I know the bus routes or the bus numbers, which ones to get into and where to get off, and of course a lot of time in my hand to wait for those buses, I am perfectly fine travelling by bus. But as a few of the above said conditions usually don't occur unless I am with my friends and we are travelling in huge groups. So there!!! I have said it outright and now don't you go and label me as a "auto-person".

But like I said earlier those instances that I travel by bus are few.

Hold your horses!!! Did I just say "are few". Let me correct that for you.

Those instances that I traveled by bus "were" few.

Now I am in Bangalore for my summer internship. Here at Bangalore I find that the instances in which I take an auto are really rare.

When I first came to Bangalore, I never felt that the auto charges were too high. After all, in those initial days my mom used to pay the auto fares. Then came one day, after she had gone, that I missed the bus to office. I caught a bus that took to one of the stops that connects to the route that goes to office. I waited there for sometime. That is when I realized that  I was getting late for my second day at office and that I did not know which bus would take me there. And, when an auto pulled by me, it was too much temptation for me to resist. So I caught an auto to office and finally reached there a bit late. That is when I noticed the fare on the meter!!!! My heart leapt into my mouth as I realized that it was no small amount that I had to pay.

I just couldn't digest the fact that I had spent that much on an auto. I pacified myself, "After all it was only my second day and I did have to reach on  a reasonable time. And the only reason I took the auto was because I didn't know which bus to take. And hey! It's wasn't as if I was going to miss the bus every single day. It happened once and it wouldn't  happen again." When I took all these into consideration the amount I spent didn't seem to be too bad. It was one of those 'couldn't have helped' circumstance that made me spend the money.

The week went by and luckily I never had to had to take another auto the entire week. That weekend I decided to visit my friends at Kempfort. The place was new to me and it was a alien land with a alien language. But I was determined to make this trip without a hitch and so I googled the routes and the bus numbers to Kempfort.

I set forth on the Saturday and reached Kempfort without much hitch. I had an absolutely great time that day and the next. The next day I decided to go back to my aunts place from Kempfort as I had to go to office the day after. But this time there was a small hitch.

Another friend of mine and I reached the Shivaji Nagar Bus stand to go to out respective places of stay. I waited at the bus stop for half an hour when I realized that only one bus went to Vidyaranyapura (thats where my aunts house was) and that was nowhere to be seen. The rosy picture suddenly turned bleak as I couldn't figure out what I should do. I turned things over in my head until I figured that I should just go the other major bus stop at Majestic. I was very sure that buses from Majestic did go to my aunts' place.

I started hunting for buses to majestic at Shivaji Nagar Bus stop when it finally dawned on me that even those buses where few. And as time passed, I realized that I had no choice but to take an auto to Majestic as I didn't know from where I could catch a bus to majestic.

And so my next adventure began!!! I got into an auto (trying to haggle and bring down the exorbitant sum he was charging me) and set forth to Majestic. The auto stopped "a few minutes" away from the Majestic. That auto fellow even showed me the place. He had to stop the vehicle as the brakes had snapped or so he said. After paying that guy off and walking for another 15 minutes I finally reached the Majestic Bus stand.

Feeling relieved I walked onto one of the platforms to locate my bus. But I couldn't find it there. And so I walked to another platform and then to another. But I still couldn't locate my bus. By then I was filled with frustration and despair.

Let me now break in  on the story and let you in on a little secret. My problem was I had this fear of going up to people and asking them for help or directions especially because they were strangers.

 And at Bangalore, all I knew was the name of one place. I didn't know what to ask and to whom to ask!!! What a predicament I was in. I contemplated catching another auto. Then I realized that I was being foolish and that it was not practical to take an auto for such a distance. I realized that my fear or dislike of asking around was not going to do me good. It would not get me anywhere.

Finally I gathered courage and strolled up to a juice counter and asked the man sitting there, "Vidyaranyapura?" Thats all I uttered, one single word. To my delight he told me a platform number and when I reached there I found my bus!!!!

I got into the bus and sat down as waves of relief flooded through me. I had made it and it was going to be smooth sailing now.

This major experience and a few others that showed me the costly nature of autos in Bangalore brought to me a few home truths.

Firstly, autos are way too costly as compared to a bus and if one could take a bus it is way better than an auto on the pocket.

Secondly, nobody is going to tell me the routes, the bus stops or the bus numbers unless I actually asked them. You see people aren't clairvoyant and they definitely don't know whats running in my mind.

Thirdly, it isn't too difficult to ask people. And if I ask they don't have any issues in telling me what I need to know.

And so after a month in Bangalore and a few home truths later I have no qualms in asking complete strangers for directions and the bus stops. In fact,  I travel quite frequently by bus as I need to travel for the project from the office.

And last but not the least, if you ask me now, "Auto?", my eyebrows will definitely shoot up and I'll tell you, "Auto??? Are you crazy??? Lets go by bus!!!!"

Au Revoir