Doubts and crossroads...

I stared solemnly at the road I had taken. I gave a glance to the road that I had left behind.

The past few weeks had taken it's toll on me. I was despondent. Nothing seemed right. There was nothing that was wrong but despite of all this everything seemed wrong.

Colors seemed bright or too pale, the shapes never seemed to fit and the effort to just smile seemed too enormous.

Stray thoughts crept into my mind and refused to leave. What I wanted was some solitude and some time and space to think. But the efforts for all this seemed too huge and I found myself confronted by loneliness and no solace.

Days passed and nothing changed. Doubts crept into my mind.  

Decisions I had taken passed into my mind. I needed to figure things out. Either writing it down or reasoning with myself and if all failed, I had to speak out my mind to somebody.

A long time spent with along with others intermittent with time with myself. Thoughts that rose up to my mind, to discard or to push back. A long drive taken to clear of the cobwebs from my mind. The long drive brought back memories that I cherished. Memories that showed me my decisions and the truth behind them.

Now I look back at the crossroad that I had to face. I look at the journey I have taken and smile at the fond memories. I look ahead in anticipation for the journey yet to take. Now at this instant I know, I have taken the right path. Had I an other chance, I would never redo any of the decisions taken for all of them have shaped me to be the person I am now. 

The practical aspects of management...

Being in a management institute and studying management, people expect you to know management.

But do we really learn all that is there to management?

One learns quite a lot of management. Take it from me, after having done my graduation in management and even my post graduation from management, the amount of theoretical knowledge that one is expected to have in one's kitty is enormous. Added to this are the few snippets of practical knowledge that we gain through different exercises during the course and also in life. These snippets of practical knowledge take us forward quite a bit in life as we learn to apply our theory in practice.

If anybody had told me that the 'Principles of Management' are extremely important,  I would have scoffed at them earlier. Having learnt this subject twice during my two courses, I had given it up as something that I would never learn. This was a subject taught by two different people, one who taught it entirely with a practical view (with absolutely no theory) and the other with a mix of both. But at the end of both the subjects, my knowledge in this subject stood at a very low level of knowing just that POSDCORB was important at all level, in all organizations, in all project and no matter what you did.

But even then, everybody did do a bit of planning, organizing and directing for whatever it is that they had to carry out, or so I thought. I couldn't figure out what the big fuss was about with this subject. It seemed like common sense.

And then INFLORE happened.

INFLORE is a management fest that is conducted by the management students and some of us where in charge of the entire event. As a part of the organizers of this fest, we had lots of tasks which had fallen on us. From arranging the different games/event to panel discussion to quiz to stay, food and travel arrangement for all participants, to raising funds for the same, keeping tab on the money and so on and on. There were so many things to do and so little time. So we divided the responsibilities and tasks that fell to each person.

Ashwin, Lisa and I were in-charge of the Panel Discussion and the Inauguration of our entire fest. From inviting the panelists, to fixing them and the moderators, inviting the corporates as audience, the entire event looked too big to handle.

Initially, we took up responsibilities on ourselves and tried to do things on our own. Gradually, as things unfolded I/ We realized the importance of applying what we had learnt. The need to plan, organize tasks, allot responsibilities, delegate tasks came out.

It wasn't very east to do but we did it. The need to work with people and understand their strengths and give them tasks which they are capable of doing it very essential. The most difficult part that I faced in the entire thing was to give the responsibility to the other and place trust in their ability to do it. I realized the true essence of the word empowerment and the fact that faith in others abilities to carry out their work does actually play a role.

We successfully had our three day management fest where we pulled off all the events that we had planned for. And now I can tell you with conviction, the principles of management and all the other theory that we learn are extremely essential and a must learn for anybody interested in managing anything, even their life.

The past two months ending with the culmination of our fest has been a learning experience for me, helping me understand more about the practical aspects of management....

Noises in my room

I can hear noises in the room, in my bedroom. It is unnerving. I am sure it's not the sound of anybody I know. It sounds like a group of people talking from someplace quite far away.

Has it been a while since I lay down to sleep? Have any guests come home, this late at night? Even then, why would they come to my room and talk.

I strain my ears. Laughter floats to where I lay. I can hear glasses clinking, people laughing and chattering. Now I am sure that it's nobody I know and that whoever they are, they are in my room!!!

Do I dare open my eyes? Or should I just shut them tighter? 

The voices don't go away. I press my eyelids together praying that whatever it is, it goes away soon. Praying that somebody comes and puts the light on in this room. 

I am waiting...Time passes, the voices fade away...I thank god and open my eyes just a crack.

There is nobody in the room. It is pitch dark. I strain my ears to hear the last of those eerie sounds but I can't hear anymore.

Was it my imagination or were there people in the room? I guess I'll never know and I am not too sure I want to know either. 

I pray fervently and close my eyes, this time to sleep and to see pleasant dreams.

Waiting for the storm to pass...

The days go by in a blur...Nothing stays constant and everything keeps moving and shifting...So much work to do and so little time. One work after the other, one responsibility after the other, all tumbling into one another.

Of the three main issues, one just finished today. Now waiting for the 19th of this month for the biggest of the three storms to pass and once the dissertation work is done, I will be free for the time being,

And so amidst all this confusion and all the jobs, I wait for the storm to pass. I wait for the day that I can take a deep breath and say, at least for a few days, that life is quiet and peaceful and that there is no storm to rock my boat.