Sybil...

I came across the book "Sybil" by Flora Rheta Schreiber as I walked up and down the aisle searching for a book on 'Proactive Personality Behaviour' for my Dissertation. 

My eyes saw a book that looked like a novel, nestled among all the non-fiction books. And I pulled it out and the rest is history.

The cover page of the book claimed that it was "the true story of a woman possessed by sixteen separate personalities" and reading this I was hooked. I couldn't put back this book and I suddenly didn't want to. I decided that I already had two books to read for the dissertation and that it would be better if I finished those books and then issued the third one. 

I returned to the hostel and when I got time I started on my book. This was day before yesterday. Unfortunately I have been having classes the entire day and yesterday too we had some program in college, so I was held back till around 9:30 p.m. 

These three days, it has been like agony. I started reading the book and I just couldn't put it down. With snatches of time from here and there, I was able to finish the book today and it has left me in awe.

Sybil's entire life seemed to come to life in front of my eyes. I was fascinated, scared, repulsed and tormented by the kind of life she had had.  I couldn't imagine that anybody could have suffered so much in a life time. The fact that she dissociated into these multiple personalities helped her to live and one can't help but admire her for her courage. 

I always believed that there were different facets to one's personality. The way we behaved or acted in different circumstances depended on our mood and what we wanted to express. After all one wasn't the same in all situation, one acted and reacted in different ways at different times. But the concept of creating another personality to handle a particular aspect of oneself seemed so....for lack of a better word I would say 'extreme'.

To be not able to know that you had dissociated from yourself, that you had another you in another name doing things which you never remembered or even dreamt of doing seemed very scary. 

Despite losing time to her other selves whose actions she could never remember, she who initially rebuffed the idea that she had such an issue, actually got to know and talk to her other selves and reintegrated to a whole person. This is just a tribute to 'Sybil' for having faced it all and even then being able to come back to herself and coping with life.

It just goes to show doesn't it...Nothing is impossible...No mountain ever hard to move...If you want it..You can really do it....even if it seems a impossible case like Sybil's.

We, The Living

I just got off reading Ayn Rand's 'We, The Living'. And I don't know what to say....

The feeling one gets as they finish her book....It's difficult to explain but I will try.... The sense of despair that washes over you, the despondency that settles in you as you realize that everything she has written is true. 

The book contain the protagonist, Kira returning to her home town in Russia post the revolution. This book is said to be Ayn Rand's first book against Communism. There are three main characters in the book to look out for - Kira, Leo and Andrei. 

While Andrei is communist and talks about living for the society and serving the society selflessly, Leo is anti-communist and wants to live for himself and does not believe in selfless service. Kira is also anti-communist and live to fulfill her dreams. Doesn't seem complicated does it? 

As the story moves on, one reads the situation prevalent there and Kira's and Leo's struggle against that difficult system. One is blacklisted if one does not go out of the way to serve society and if one was an aristocrat. It shows the society losing it's luster. It depicts Kira losing her fight as she discovers that she cannot live for herself.

Most of Ayn Rand's books make you think, think deeply. 

This book really touched me because like Kira says in the book, it is inconceivable that one live only for the society. Just imagine, if the society were to impose on us such a ruling that anything and everything that we are to do is to be linked with helping the society. It would be such that any frivolity, any entertainment will be frowned upon. One will not be allowed to read, listen to music , dance or do anything that is considered a waste to the society. All that one does is the work decided by the state and whether you are good at what you do is not considered. The only thing that is considered is the contribution to you society. And scorn be on you if you expect high remuneration for the service that you do.

This is the horrifying way in which the post revolution state has been depicted. I just cannot imagine living in a world like that. 

Ayn Rand has written so beautifully that there are those instances where I was so moved, so frustrated by the system that Kira in me rose up to the surface. I wanted to infuse strength to Kira, wanted her to try and get out of the system and live her life and her dream.

Kira's words give much room for thought. Life is desolate and has no meaning if we aren't living for ourselves and pursuing the goals we want to pursue. Whether it be things for society, or for family or just for ourselves, unless we are self motivated to do them it will be neigh impossible to do them. Won't life lose it's meaning if we cannot see where we are going and if we cannot serve in the way we know best??? 

These are questions I ask myself. Life has a lot to offer us. I believe that as long as we know where we want to go and accept life with open arms and work constantly for it, we will and we can reach those goals.